The StarClan Awards
by Blood Red Mind
Summary: The StarClan Awards won't just be a time to score publicity for Lionblaze, or to enjoy with his littermates, Hollyleaf and Jayfeather- not at all. With barely any faith in himself, his night will stretch his emotions to his limit. It will be a time of reality, it will bring out cats' true colors, it will be life-changing... and not just because of the awards.
1. Prologue

**Yes, they are still cats. Yes, there will be voting. No, I don't own Warriors.**

Lionblaze yawned stretched in the little space he had in the back of the twoleg's… "truck"? Yes, a strange name, but it was their only mean of transportation to the StarClan Awards. The wind felt quite nice in his fur and there was a better view of the sunset from there. All he could see all the way 'round was the brown and green blur of the plantation of the forest.

Anxiety gnawed at Lionblaze's stomach as he sat back down. The StarClan Awards! It would be the first serious live recording he'd be in. It wasn't like the Warriors scenes and interviews, where they could always retake a mistake he'd made, or like the paparazzi's quick questions, of which he could always just ignore. This time, there were absolutely no mistakes. Of course, he'd memorized his speeches by heart, but he still couldn't suppress a stroke of nervousness. Anything could happen, good or not.

Lionblaze turned back to the cats piled onto the truck with him. He and his siblings, Hollyleaf and Jayfeather, had enjoyed the experiences of working on the set together. It was comforting during the beginning of their shooting that they at least had each other to lean on, since their actual parents were far away in OakClan. Of course, they still kept in touch, but it was quite hard with all the work to be done- balancing filming, warrior training and basically everything else.

Most cats they'd met on the set were nice enough… Leafpool was like a second mother to them, Crowfeather, a second father… but Dovewing was a nuisance. They'd expected her to grow out of her self-centered attitude she'd come on the set as a kit with, but by now, those hopes were completely shattered. She still wouldn't give a whisker for another cat unless she benefited from doing so.

Cinderheart was nice, as was her mother Cinderpelt… but the she-cat Lionblaze was really interested in was Heathertail. It might have just been a petty crush back then, when they were filming Dark River, but he couldn't deny that every time he'd shot a scene with her, his heart skipped a beat. Would he even acknowledge him at the awards? Or would she just go to… Lionblaze held back a growl. _Kestrelflight. _He was too shy to utter a sentence!

Lionblaze quickly veered his mind off the subject. He couldn't get angry now- not when they were so close to the cameras…

Some cats on set had been acting for the same series their entire life, like Firestar, Dustpelt, Sandstorm… Of course, they'd been working on other projects in the meanwhile, but Lionblaze didn't think anything was worth dedicating your entire life to. What happened to a happy kithood? He and his littermates had had a few moons of that before joining the cast. Hollyleaf and Jayfeather agreed with him that some cat's determination was incredible.

Speaking of Jayfeather, Jayfeather seemed to be getting a lot of she-cats to moon over him… like Briarlight, Icecloud, and Dawnpelt… More cats than the hairs on his pelt, really. _Well, _Lionblaze thought,_ he _is_ a flirt, but what about me?_ None of the she-cats on set gave him a second glance… and Jayfeather seemed to have quite large fandoms compared to him. Lionblaze let jealousy swell up inside him. He was so much better than his brother, yet Jayfeather got all the attention! _He_ was sincere and thoughtful, while Jayfeather just went around carelessly giving out smiles and taking things for granted. What did cats see in him?

Hollyleaf sighed loudly, snapping Lionblaze out of his quiet seething. "It's kind of crammed in here, huh?" They'd had to fit the entire cast of ThunderClan, from the living and major characters from the "dead", in one truck to save time. As a result, the cats were in such close conditions that every part of their pelt was squeezed against another's. They weren't exactly rich in the twoleg currency, so they couldn't rent anything, but the twolegs would have probably been too surprised to do anything if a few dozen cats had tried to pay for a rental.

Firestar shrugged and changed the subject. "After all this blows over, I'm just going to return to SunClan with Graystripe… I don't remember much about home, but I miss the sand." He glanced around. "How about you guys?"

Yellowfang smoothed her _clean_ and _sleek_ fur. The messy look was only for the camera. "I'd like to travel around with my mate… if I can find one." She sighed bitterly. "Otherwise, my brother will insist on staying with an acting career. He just doesn't understand how old we're getting."

The cats jolted as they hit a bump in the road.

Bramblestar looked a bit sick, but he held whatever complaints he had in. "That's what most of us plan on doing after this, isn't it?" he forced out. "Acting? There's a reason why we're on this cast, you know."

Yellowfang nodded. "A majority of you choose to pursue that career because you are still young. But some of us have had enough with our lives and just want to relax…" She shrugged. "Or retire, whatever."

Spiderleg smirked. Lionblaze recognized that look and got ready for a good laugh. "Oh come on now, Yellowfang," Spiderleg chided, "you aren't _that_ old. You're just trigger-happy."

Of course, Yellowfang's trigger-happiness erupted as the others snickered around her. "I'm one hundred fifty-four moons, and you don't call that _old_?" Yellowfang snarled, raising an unsheathed paw threateningly. Then she caught herself. "Er, I mean-"

The cats of the ThunderClan cast burst into laughter. Spiderleg looked quite pleased that he had succeeded in humoring the others, while Yellowfang sunk her claws into the truck, a vengeful look in her eyes.

Jayfeather's eyes lit up as he spotted the clearing in which they were to hold the awards. Yes, he saw it, because of course, his blindness was all an act. This was another thing that bothered Lionblaze. His brother was so much more better with eye emotions than everyone else was. And in their set, that was something to be jealous about.

"Guys, come look!" Jayfeather called over his shoulder. He continued as his littermates squeezed past the other cats and joined him at the very back of the truck. "Looks pretty, huh?"

"Wow," Hollyleaf sighed in wonderment. As it was newleaf, there was a blooming assortment of flowers- all a pristine white- mixed into wild-growing bushes near a large glittering pond in the distance. There seemed to be a gap in-between the flowers and the body of water, but they were too far away to make out what was there. Good. The twolegs wouldn't notice, then.

"Berrynose, look at this!" Hollyleaf nudged her friend, who happened to be leaning against the truck's side from sickness nearby. "We should be jumping off any moment now…"

"Jumping?!" Berrynose gasped. He looked dizzy. "I can't even sit still without feeling sick!"

Lionblaze sighed impatiently. Berrynose was a nice tom- very nice, in fact- but he caught sicknesses far too easily. When filming, it was always bothersome. He would always be the first to catch greencough when leafbare came around, and he had many allergies. It took a lot of herbs and make-up to make him seem healthy on camera.

Lionblaze opened his mouth to suggest something, but any answer was interrupted by Bluestar's shouting. "Okay, jump! Everybody, get off, quick!" The cats seemed hesitant and unwilling at her order, so she grabbed the nearest cat- Foxleap- by the scruff and flung him off the truck. Poor guy. "Jump, or the same happens to you," Bluestar growled turning back to the cats.

After that, the cats pelted off the truck like furry rain. Berrynose still wouldn't move, so Hollyleaf had to drag him along with her as she leaped off with the rest. A few cats carried the kits and apprentices along with them because of the young cats' inexperience.

The twoleg driving the truck cast a lazy glance over his shoulder and turned back to the road with disinterest. Then he seemed to register what he'd just seen and whipped around again. He lost control of the truck and the vehicle swerved off the road.

Lionblaze felt Jayfeather- the last cat on board with him- nudge him forward and abruptly remembered to jump. He quickly leaped off with his brother while the truck crashed into a tree, and he clumsily landed on the soft grass, stumbling into Molepaw and Cherrypaw. They squeaked and backed away.

"Sorry!" Lionblaze meowed apologetically. "Are you two okay?"

They glanced at each other nervously. "We're fine," they replied in unison Cherrypaw's answer a bit louder than her brother's.

"Good." Lionblaze turned away and smiled. They may have been a bit shy, but they showed potential in acting. After they filmed Bramblestar's Storm, the two would probably move on to be greater characters starring in some other film.

As they moved onward into the forest, Lionblaze felt a buzz in his pelt, and he stayed back for a moment to poof up his phone and check who'd texted him. Rosepetal wrote, _can't w8 for da sc awards! who do u think will win best actor/actress?_ She'd forwarded this message to every other contact she had, which was about every cat participating in the Awards.

Lionblaze sighed. Rosepetal was another one of those she-cats obsessed with their phones and texting. He quickly texted back, _I don't really know. We'll just have to wait and see, I guess, but I'm sure whoever wins will deserve it._

Lionblaze stared at his message for a moment before hitting "send." Deep inside, through all his modesty, he knew that he had a strong ambition to win best actor. But he never showed it- modesty and common sense always won. He poofed his phone away and quickly ran to catch up with the rest of the group.

Hollyleaf was talking with Berrynose… Lionblaze decided not to interrupt them. They were like birds in a tree when they were together; loud, nonstop, and a bit annoying at times. Jayfeather was chatting with Poppyfrost, who seemed delighted that he was talking to her- if Lionblaze tried to join in, he'd just be left out. Leafpool was somewhere in the crowd… somewhere. But it would be too bothersome to shove his way in through all those cats and try to find her. That left Dovewing, who coincidentally had decided to trail along at the back of the group as well… _No thanks._

But too late, he realized that he had caught her eye, and she padded closer to his side. "Hi," she said briskly, flicking her tail in greeting. "You see that energy drink commercial yet? I heard it's showing on all the channels."

Lionblaze shrugged. "I don't really watch television much…" He looked up. "What about it?" he asked, though he could already see where the she-cat was heading.

"I was in it," Dovewing replied smugly. Of course. "The casting crew had me paw-picked because they said I had memorable face. And a compelling voice." She glanced at him as if expecting some compliment.

"Did they really?" Lionblaze meowed, trying to sound polite, though he really was uninterested in her gloating. It always made him wonder how her parents and kin were like… Were they anything like her?

Dovewing seemed to see through his act, probably from acting in so many scenes with him, and she narrowed her eyes. "Fine, then. I'll talk to Ivypool if you don't want to listen to the cat you wanted to talk to in the first place." With a short huff and a lash of her tail, she stalked off to find her sister. Ivypool seemed to be the only cat that could stand that she-cat…

"Relieved, huh?" came a familiar voice.

Lionblaze didn't turn. "Hi, Mousewhisker," he sighed.

The grey and white tom came into view at his side. "I was stalking you the whole time," he meowed disappointedly, shaking his head. "I just can't surprise you."

"Show business does that to you, I suppose." Lionblaze shot Mousewhisker a glance, a stoic mask hiding his suspicion. This tom was acting too polite. "Is there… anything you need?" Lionblaze asked slowly.

Mousewhisker's grin almost made him shiver. "No need for that kind of talk; you could've just went all out and said, 'What do you want?'… But I guess that wouldn't be… you." He looked Lionblaze in the eye. "You know what I want."

The golden tom shook his head slowly. "No… I don't know what you want." In all honesty, though, his mind drew a faint idea, but it was too weird to possibly be true. "Uh, what _do _you want?"

Mousewhisker's gaze darkened and he flattened his ears. "You really don't know?" he growled. "Then you're an idiot." He glanced around. "Commercial break. Same spot. Your call whether you'll come here or not." With that, he sped up and disappeared into the crowd.

Then Lionblaze was alone again. It made him feel unwanted… not for the first time. What was he doing wrong? He tried to be nice and everything, but something must have been turning cats off… It was definitely something big if no one bothered with him because of it. He felt like he should have known what it was.

Lionblaze was a bit relieved when they made it to the edge of the clearing. Maybe his littermates would come back to experience the Awards with him? By this time, it was completely night, and the glittering stars were out, as was the bright full moon. Thunder, Shadow, Wind, and River had specifically planned for the Awards to take place at the full moon, just for the relation to the Warriors' "Gathering".

He waited as the cats in front were held up by the news, photographers, paparazzi, and whatnot. The pause and flashing lights gradually started to make him feel edgy and feel self-conscious about his fur and his stance and his… and he started feeling anxious again. Lionblaze sunk his claws into the ground. He needed… _someone_ to help him bear through. Lionblaze looked around and noticed that Jayfeather and Hollyleaf were, in fact, making their way towards him.

"Hi guys," he greeted them warmly, feeling a burst of relief and happiness.

"You were worried we'd leave you alone, huh?" Hollyleaf chuckled softly, shaking her head. "Never. We're going through this together."

Jayfeather nodded. "We'll be there to correct each other's mistakes when we make them, eh?" he said with a grin.

Lionblaze laughed, though he felt uneasy inside. "Haha, yeah… if we make them."

It soon came their turn to go through the news and photographers. The photographers crowded around "The Original Three", and Lionblaze tried not to flinch at all the lights in his eyes. It made it hard to see anything_, _really. _Honestly, how can cats go through this without going blind? _His littermates seemed to be facing the same problems, even Jayfeather breaking from his nonchalant attitude to blink at the lights every once and a while.

Lionblaze spotted Ashfur and Whitewing being hassled by a group of interviewers to his left. Apparently they were the next "big couple", but he knew Whitewing would do anything for publicity. Ashfur was just… gullible. _It's sad being used like that… but that's just reality, I suppose._

"Excuse me, sir." Lionblaze turned to see a pretty tortoiseshell she-cat holding a microphone with her tail, a white all caps "CAT 5 NEWS" logo imprinted on its side. "We're going live in a few seconds." She jerked her head towards a few burly toms hefting heavy equipment onto their shoulders. "Would you care to answer a few questions?"

"Oh, uh, of course, sure," Lionblaze stuttered, caught by surprise.

"Great!" The tortoiseshell smiled a bit too enthusiastically and glanced absently at Jayfeather and Hollyleaf. "They'll have to go," she said briskly. "We've constructed questions specifically for you, Cloudtail, and Breezepelt _only_." She said that last "only" far too forcefully for his liking.

"Thirty seconds!" a dark brown tom carrying a camera on his back grunted. He shambled towards Lionblaze and the news reporter while Jayfeather and Hollyleaf stared on helplessly.

"I'll catch up with you guys later if I can," Lionblaze murmured.

Jayfeather sighed. "Okay, then…" He shrugged. "Better not hold up the flow, I guess. The RiverClan cast is supposed to come next, and you know how big _they _are."

Hollyleaf gave an amused snort, then cleared her throat. "Good luck, Lion," she muttered. "Keep in mind not to think too much; it makes you stutter. Do that and you should be perfectly fine." With that, she and Jayfeather walked off slowly as they could without making it seem like they were reluctant to leave him.

Lionblaze turned back to the new reporter and swallowed, despite having been through this a few times before. _This is _live, he thought in dismay. _You can't mess this up, or who knows what the public will make of you?_ His heart thumped as fast as a woodpecker pecking at a tree. _Oh StarClan… please don't let them mention anything about Heathertail…_

The brown tom with the camera knelt down beside the tortoiseshell and squinted through a seeing-through thingy attached to the camera on his broad back, two other toms with headsets joining him. The camera cat started counting down to the all too familiar words. "Three… two… one… and"- he tensed- "action!"

The tortoiseshell faced the camera and began speaking into her microphone at a rapid pace. "Thanks, Bramblefoot. Hi, I'm Dappleshade, reporter from CAT 5 NEWS, and I'm here _live _with the acting prodigy, Lionblaze, here to answer a few questions for us!" She turned towards him with an overly-cheery smile. "First thing's first, Lionblaze: we all know the rumors going 'round about you having a secret romantic relationship with Hazeltail even though she _is _a medicine cat in real life. Can you confirm to us whether or not they are true?" She shoved the microphone into his muzzle.

Lionblaze paused for a moment to calm down his nerves. _Don't think to much… just talk._ "No," he said, relieved when his voice carried out normally, "I can definitely say that I don't have any romantic relationship with Hazeltail, though we _are_ very good friends."

Dappleshade brought the microphone back to her muzzle and nodded as if she had known all along. "I see. Another thing, Lionblaze; cats have been noticing the funny looks you've been giving Dovewing. What specific feelings do you have towards her?"

Oh man.

Lionblaze quickly decided to go for just a bit of the truth. "Well, I can't say that our relationship is very friendly, nor can I say that we're enemies, but I definitely feel a bit of… negativity towards her. Just the normal annoyances you'd find in every cat."

"Can you tell us anything specific?" the tortoiseshell pushed on.

"Ah… well…" Lionblaze tried to stall for time while he thought of an answer that wouldn't go completely viral. "She can be a little bit much sometimes," he finally said. "She likes to talk, I can tell you that."

"Oh yes, that I can tell. One last thing before you go on the Awards, Lionblaze. I'm sure you've heard of the popular jokes cats are making that you're gay?" Lionblaze nodded. "What are your thoughts about it?" Dappleshade asked.

Lionblaze made sure to flatten his fur before it bristled. He was _not_ gay, but some immature cats out there liked to think of that of toms like him. "Honestly," he began in a cool tone, "I don't think I'm gay, nor do I think I will I ever _be_ gay… but those cats can believe what they believe and joke about what they want. I know I'm not gay, and I think that's enough for me."

"Mmm." Dappleshade nodded. "Alright, thanks for your time, Lionblaze. I hope you win the award for best actor- I think you deserve it!"

Lionblaze gave a fake smile and nodded as the camera cat wrapped up the recording. Dappleshade flashed him a quick smile as she and her crew hurried away to find another cat to interview.

Lionblaze let out a breath. That had went well enough. Nothing major… and nothing about Heathertail. He started moving forward through the crowd of chattering cats and flashing lights trying to find his brother and sister. His quick interview had only been a minute or two, so they couldn't have possibly gone that far. He passed by Briarlight and Brightheart, who were telling of the hardships of acting with fake handicaps to some eager reporters, and veered out of the way as Brackenfur gave an expressive wave of his tail. Where were they?

Lionblaze finally emerged out of the stifling crowd and into the enormous main clearing where they were to hold the awards. He drew in a sharp breath. It was… It was beautiful. The pond reflected the icy crystal-like stars and full moon perfectly in its clear and still surface, and the soft grass stood tall- a third of the way up his legs- and untouched by the twolegs loud plant-shredders. A crew of cats that had been there earlier had apparently hauled in a smooth, big, and dark slate of rock that would serve as a stage, and Lionblaze could see cats huddled up in the trees with the lighting equipment out of the corner of his eye. He looked to his side and examined the flowers peeking out from the bushes. Where the moonlight touched them, the white and beak-shaped petals turned to a softly glowing silver, and as he breathed in, he noticed a very faint, sweet scent.

"Hey, Lionblaze," Jayfeather greeted from behind. Lionblaze jerked his head up in surprise. "Sniffing the flowers, aren't you?" Jayfeather said with a note of teasing in his voice.

Lionblaze's tongue stumbled for words. "W-well, I tlink- uh, think they smell…" His face heated under his fur. "I mean, you know, they just-"

Hollyleaf smoothed his ruffled fur with her tail. "Hey, it's fine. I like them too. No shame in sniffing flowers." She cast a glare at Jayfeather- Jayfeather smiled cheekily in response- then leaned towards the bushes and sniffed at the flowers experimentally. "I think they're called calla lilies," she said. "They usually grow near shores… which is here, I guess." She looked towards the still pond, enchanted.

"Where were you guys anyway?" Lionblaze asked curiously. "I couldn't find you in the crowd."

"Well, naturally, we ran into a few hasty reporters," Hollyleaf said, meeting her green eyes back to Lionblaze's. Then she scoffed. "Then Jayfeather nearly got trampled by a mob of she-cats that'd snuck in. We had to call for security to get them away."

Lionblaze laughed. "Jay… really?" But inside, his heart sank. Of course, it was _Jayfeather._ It was always Jayfeather. All the attention Lionblaze had gotten was a lousy interview from CAT 5 NEWS.

Jayfeather flicked one of his ears and grinned. "Hey, not my fault! They just seem to love me." He glanced towards the cats of the ThunderClan cast already gathering in the clearing. "We'd better find a place guys, or all the good spots'll be taken."

Lionblaze nodded in agreement and was about to move forward when Berrynose and Hazeltail came running into them, voices full of laughter. "We'll race ya!" Hazeltail laughed, barreling into Lionblaze, and flattening him to the ground. "The cameras aren't here yet- they're all on the RiverClan cast!"

"Come on!" Berrynose nudged Hollyleaf's hindquarters and glanced invitingly towards Jayfeather. "We'll run straight to the stage… First one there gets to choose the first spot! Ready?" He looked around. Lionblaze stood and felt a kit-like excitement surge through him. "Go!"

They shot forward, Lionblaze starting out as last place from feeling so jittery. He regained his control and pushed his legs as hard as he could, ignoring the tall grass whipping his legs, a stupid grin on his face. He'd needed a time like this- to let all his worries go- and he wanted to enjoy it. The golden tom felt the strength from shooting so many fighting scenes over and over again push him onward, and slowly, he passed Hazeltail… then Berrynose… then Jayfeather… until he was neck-and-neck with Hollyleaf. Maybe he'd win this thing!

But Hollyleaf shot him a sly glance and put on an extra surge of speed, and by the time Lionblaze had gathered enough energy to try to catch up to her, they were already at the finishing point. Hollyleaf skittered to a halt and fell into the tall grass, breathing heavily. Berrynose stumbled into third place, Jayfeather and Hazeltail coming in at a close tie for last.

"I… I won," Hollyleaf said weakly. She hauled herself to her paws and looked around for the spot she would claim. Her green eyes found their way to a path of flattened grass leading up to the stage, but she quickly seemed to dismiss it. _Probably the pathway,_ Lionblaze thought.

Hollyleaf finally plopped herself down ungracefully a few fox-lengths away from the stage, near the middle. "Come here guys; I think this'll be a good view." She tapped her tail to the grass on either side of her.

Lionblaze steadied his breath and sat himself to the left of his sister, Berrynose taking her other side. Jayfeather brushed his pelt as he sat next to Lionblaze, and Hazeltail took up Berrynose's right.

Lionblaze straightened his posture and smoothed his fur as he heard other cats murmuring to each other and finding their places. _This is it. This is really it. _His mind didn't seem to be able to register it for a while. _If I win best actor… if I could just win over Heathertail… oh, that would be all I need._


	2. Segment 1 - CREEPY MUCH?

Lionblaze casually scanned the crowd of cats behind him in the dim moonlight. To others, it would look as if he was seeing if he could spot any cats he knew. But inside, he was only looking for one. That soft, light brown fur, those dazzling blue eyes… Where was she?

Then his heart skipped a beat as he caught a glimpse of her tabby pelt in the crowd. He quickly stood up and craned his neck to try to find her again. _Come on, come on!_ The Awards would start any moment now, and then he'd have to turn his attention to the stage.

He felt a buzz in his pelt and sighed in exasperation, facing back forward to check who had texted him. The phone's screen had lit up, glowing in the dim light of the full moon. Rosepetal. Of course. He glanced back and saw the cream-furred she-cat staring at him wide-eyed and expectantly from a few rows away. She sat with Sedgewhisker and Willowshine, both of which were bent over, texting on their own phones. He looked away and turned off his phone without reading her message, jaw clenched in annoyance, and resumed to his searching.

Then his amber eyes lit up. Heathertail! His mind caressed her name. The she-cat actually wasn't sitting that far off; she had luckily taken a place at the front row about a dozen cats to his left, and she seemed to be having a lively conversation with… Kestrelflight. The brown-gray tom sat hunching his shoulders and kept glancing around shyly at cats, all the while trying to maintain a slight smile. Now, if there was any cat that should have been made fun of for being supposedly gay, _he_ was the one.

Jayfeather broke off from texting someone and glanced at his brother, who had made it very obvious that he was only looking at one cat by the way he was leaning forward, unmoving. "Who're you staring at?" he whispered. Lionblaze quickly drew back and averted his gaze elsewhere, but Jayfeather had already pinpointed where he was staring.

A grin slowly crept onto his muzzle. "Oh," he meowed slyly, "I see. The one she-cat that I can't get mooning over me." He turned back to his brother. "What makes you so giddy over her, huh? I don't see any difference in Heathertail than the others."

"Well, maybe it's just the fact that she _doesn't_ moon over you," Lionblaze muttered. His pelt suddenly felt prickly and uncomfortable. He felt a buzz in his pelt as he received another text, but he just ignored it, figuring who it was.

Jayfeather sighed. "You need to make your move, bro. That Kestrelflight guy- it looks like he's winning her."

"I know that!" Lionblaze snapped. "Would you please mind your own business for once?" Jayfeather seemed surprised that he'd snapped at him so easily, so Lionblaze tried to relax again. "Okay, I'm sorry about that," he said. "But… I think I can handle this on my own. Okay?"

Jayfeather shrugged and turned back to his phone to answer his overdue text. "Just sayin': if you need any help, you know who to ask."

Lionblaze shrugged it off and turned back to stare at Heathertail, not really caring if anyone thought it funny. As if Jayfeather would be any help! It seemed that his brother's only method was being himself, and that simply wasn't working for Lionblaze.

"Ooh, ooh!" Hollyleaf glanced excitedly from Lionblaze to Berrynose and back again as if she couldn't decide who to nudge first. "Look, Shadow's coming up on stage!"

Lionblaze snapped his head forward, and slowly, the rest of the cats quieted down and turned their attention to the black, thick-furred she-cat waiting patiently in front of them. She brought a microphone to her muzzle. "Greetings, everybody!" she said, her voice a bit deep and raspy for a she-cat. "We're going on live in a few minutes, so we would like to ask you all to finish up your calls and texts and turn off your cell phones for the time being. Remember, if anybody needs to use the dirtplace, the exit is to your left, and-"

Lionblaze zoned out to check on the texts that Rosepetal had sent him. He felt sort of guilty about not answering back, even though the highly social she-cat probably wouldn't care. But the feeling was there all the same. The first read, _OMSC LIon u beter look tat cats gving u da stare!_

Lionblaze frowned, then read the next message as Shadow went on speaking. _OH GOSH I MEAN IT LION U BETER LOOK ITS RLY CREPIN ME OUT!11_

He blinked in confusion and texted back, _Who's staring at me, Rosepetal? _He glanced back over his shoulder to see Rosepetal take out her phone with her tail and check her messages. She set her phone on the ground and rapidly texted something back, looking back up and meeting Lionblaze's gaze when she had finished.

He glanced at his phone and saw her text pop up on the screen. For once in perfect spelling and punctuation, it read, _Mousewhisker!_

Lionblaze frowned. Mousewhisker…? Out of all cats, Mousewhisker? He glanced to where the tom sat at Hazeltail's other side. He was staring intently at the speaker, Shadow, and seemingly paying no attention to him. Lionblaze looked back at Rosepetal's text. The she-cat had probably just had an overreaction and become paranoid. Cats like her tended to do that.

Lionblaze put his phone away as Shadow finished up, "-patiently, and the wait will be over before you know it." She smiled, leaped off the stage, and disappeared back into the dark forest to the right.

"Bah, two more minutes," said Berrynose as he nervously checked the time on his phone. He tapped his claws on the ground anxiously, beginning to look a bit sick.

Hollyleaf flicked her tail against his side. "Don't worry, all you have to do is give a speech once or twice when you get an award and you're done."

"But-"

"Hey, I heard they're serving pretty good catmint here," Jayfeather butted in. He gave Berrynose a mischievous look. "If you embarrass yourself, you can always resign to that, and it'll be like nothing ever happened."

Berrynose scooted away from him as if he might actually do that if he got too close. "Uh, no thanks, hangovers are a bit harder on me than they're supposed to…" He grimaced. "Don't tell me forgot about that anniversary party, Jayfeather. We all know what went down there and that it shouldn't happen again."

At that, Jayfeather seemed a bit embarrassed, but he flicked his ear carelessly. "Okay, so I guess you won't be having any catmint tonight. Fine. I'll just have a few stalks with Lionblaze." He glanced at his brother. "Right?"

Lionblaze flinched slightly. "Well, we'll see what happens, I suppose," he meowed hesitantly. He had to side with Berrynose though; he definitely didn't want a replay of that anniversary party.

Jayfeather leaned forward. "Are you sure?" he pressed. "Y'know, you don't have to eat all that much. Just enough to satisfy yourself." He stared at him expectantly, and Lionblaze bristled uncomfortably under his gaze.

"Jay," Hollyleaf sighed, "just leave him alone. If he doesn't want to eat, don't make him." She frowned at the gray tabby disapprovingly. "And I'd prefer that _you _wouldn't have any either."

"Hey bossy-paws, it's not like I'll go crazy from a few stalks or anything." Jayfeather rolled his eyes. "At least not the way _you_ go crazy over the truth. You've got to lie sometimes, Holly. It helps you _survive_."

"Don't change the subject," she growled, then added defensively, "Besides, lying-"

"-is a sin," Jayfeather finished, shaking his head. "Yada, yada, I know. If I had a mouse tail for every time you've brought that up, I'd be filthy rich I tell you. Bada- nope." He brushed his tail over her muzzle as she opened her mouth to say something. "Don't get worked up in front of the cameras, remember? Nothing bad will happen, promise. I'm not eating that much."

Hollyleaf turned away moodily. "Well, for StarClan's sake, you'd better not," she muttered. Then the lighting crew hidden in the bordering trees flicked on the spotlights and a bright circle appeared on the center of the stage. Hollyleaf perked up immediately. "It's time!"

Lionblaze shuddered with excitement. Berrynose licked his chest fur nervously. Jayfeather yawned, and Lionblaze glared at him. "Hey, it's been a long wait," the gray tom defended.

"No, they're recording everything, remember?" Lionblaze growled softly.

"Oh. Yeah." He straightened his posture and slapped a grin on his face. Lionblaze rolled his eyes.

A broad, ginger tom ran onto the stage, the spotlight following him, white paws thumping on the smooth rock. "Hello everybody!" he yowled into his microphone, his voice emphasized by the speakers hidden in the surrounding trees. His words were met by loud, enthusiastic cheering from the cats. This went on for a while, and the tom waited, smiling, as they gradually quieted down. "Don't worry, my ears aren't broken. It sounds like that every time I walk into camp." The crowd laughed.

The tom grinned and continued in his somewhat rough voice, "Alright, down to business. Welcome to the StarClan Awards! I hope you enjoy our performance tonight. My name's Thunder, as most of you know, one out of the five directors of the hit series, 'Warriors.' Because of the vast amount of cats we have in our cast, we've decided to hold awards for just them- you guys, I mean." Thunder shrugged. "Also because we're one of the few that show up on our television merely for entertainment- but hey! That makes us special, eh?

"Anyways, I'll be hosting the first out of nine segments of tonight's awards- it would be a riot if all five of us were on stage on at the same time if you've ever seen us together before- but first, I'd like to thank all you Clan cats for being so cooperative to a bunch of former kittypets. Now, some of you out there used to be kittypets as well, I know, and… well, thanks for listening to your own kind!

"There's also another cat I'd like to thank, and that cat is Whitepaw from SnowClan, who is acting as me in Dawn of the Clans. Now, their series is too young to be here, but"- Thunder winked at a camera recording from the side- "keep up the good work, kid. I'm watching ya. In a non-stalkerish way, don't worry, you can sleep at night." The cats laughed again.

"Now," Thunder continued lightly as the merriment died down, "our first segment will be focused solely on comedy. We'll have three subjects: Weirdest Phenomenon, Best In-Movie Joke, and Funniest Blooper! All results will be announced _after _the commercial break, but before that, I'll need my co-host for this segment. Whitestorm!"

The crowd cheered loudly as Whitestorm padded calmly down the path of flattened grass and joined Thunder on the stage where another spotlight focused on him. He spoke into the microphone that had been given to him while climbing onto the long slate of rock: "Good… night, I suppose, everyone. It's an honor to be one of the nine co-hosts in the Awards…"

Lionblaze began to feel his pelt prickle and an uncomfortable sensation again. He tried to focus on Whitestorm's speech, but what came in one ear seemed to come out the other. The feeling was impossible to ignore. Was it…? His head snapped to the right, and indeed, Mousewhisker was staring at him. Rosepetal hadn't been having an overreaction after all. The grey and white just narrowed his eyes and turned away.

Lionblaze glanced over his shoulder and sought out Rosepetal- just if. She had been watching the exchange, and she nodded at him vigorously, wide-eyed. Lionblaze threw her a questioning look, as if asking, _Why?_ Just why.

Rosepetal shrugged helplessly in response and jerked her head towards the stage. Lionblaze turned back forward, still caught in confusion.

He felt Jayfeather's breath prickle his fur as he leaned towards him. "What is it with you and she cats tonight?" he whispered.

"What is it with you and she-cats all the time?" Lionblaze shot back.

His brother was silent for a moment. "Touché."

Whitestorm finished up his short speech with a cunning joke, filling the air with laughter once again. Then Thunder took over as a big white screen was pushed in by a crew of cats.

"First off, Weirdest Phenomenon!" he announced casually. He turned off his microphone and motioned with his tail for Whitestorm to follow him off the side of the stage.

The spotlights turned off and a projector turned on in its place, a blinding light from the branches of the trees reflecting on the white screen. The video began to play, Whitestorm announcing the nominees:

"Heavystep from RiverClan."

_The text "The New Prophecy: Sunset - Episode 11" is sprawled across the bottom of the screen in bright white as Leopardstar announces solemnly at a moonlit Gathering, "Sadly, one of our cats, Heavystep, has been taken by greencough, and we grieve for him deeply-"_

_Then the scene changes, and text fades in and out to "Power of Three: Dark River - Episode 16." Heavystep is shown, ears flattened, glaring disapprovingly after Hollypaw as she follows Squirrelflight out of RiverClan's temporary camp on the island, even though he had earlier "died of greencough."_

"Rowanclaw from ShadowClan."

_"Tigerstar and Sasha: Into the Woods - Episode 2" Rowanclaw- Rowanpaw then- is shown as a she-cat staring down at a frog Sasha had caught. The apprentice jerks her head up to look at Tigerstar. "Huh? Oh… Right. Frogs are… uh… Nasty," she stutters._

_"And yet prey is prey, distasteful or not," Tigerstar presses with a growl. "Isn't that right?"_

_Rowanpaw seems startled, but she manages to say, "Um, yes! Absolutely."_

_"The New Prophecy: Starlight - Episode 12" Rowanclaw is shown- as a tom now- fighting with Brambleclaw about their border when Tawnypelt runs in with a few other ShadowClan cats. Rowanclaw turns on her. "What a surprise, it's the half-Clan warrior!" he scoffs disgustedly and casts a loathsome glance at Brambleclaw. "We all know you'd rather defend your brother than your Clan."_

"Mudfur from RiverClan."

_"Special Spin-Off: Crookedstar's Promise - Episode 31" Mudfur is standing in the middle of RiverClan camp, bloodied by his successful one-on-one battle with Adderfang of ThunderClan, but looking solemn instead of prideful. "I have unsheathed my claws too many a time, and the prospect of fighting no longer provokes the same adrenaline as it once did," he says heavily. "…That is why I ask Brambleberry to take me under her wing and teach me the ways of a medicine cat." The clan seems shocked as he turns his gaze to the seemingly aging she-cat._

_She studies at him for a moment, as if in thought, then says, "I was hoping that one of the apprentices would take an interest in becoming a medicine cat,"- Mudfur seems a bit put down by this- "but as long as you are willing, I will be willing as well to educate you. You may become my apprentice, Mudfur, and you shall accompany me on my next trip to the Moonstone."_

_Mudfur perks up considerably and dips his head in thanks._

_"Special Spin-Off: Yellowfang's Secret - Episode 34" Yellowfang runs across WindClan's moorland grass in the light of the half-moon, anxiety written across her face. She seems in relief when she sees Featherwhisker and Brambleberry up ahead. As she catches up to them, she glances thoughtfully at a younger light brown tom padding alongside the RiverClan medicine cat but doesn't question about him for the time being._

_Brambleberry greets the other medicine cat. "Hello, Yellowfang, I'm glad you made it. This is Mudpaw, my new apprentice." There is a note of pride in her voice._

_Yellowfang dips her head to the young tom as a form of respect. "Welcome to the company of medicine cats," she says almost emotionlessly._

_"Thank you!" Mudpaw replies enthusiastically, completely clueless to her disinterest. "I can't believe I'm going to meet our ancestors! What should I say?"_

_Brambleberry smiles. "Keep asking questions like you always do. That should keep them talking for the whole night and beyond."_

"And Smokefoot from ShadowClan."

_"The New Prophecy: Dawn - Episode 21" A dark gray apprentice is shown- one in a very long line of cats- pushing up the mountains with difficulty, wind and snow pelting down on him. The narrow ledge he is climbing abruptly crumbles beneath him with a loud cracking sound. Smokepaw lets out a cry and manages to grab hold of what is left of the ledge with his claws before he falls along with the broken chips of rock._

_"Hold on!" Russetfur lunges toward the apprentice and looks as if to be making for his scruff, but as she lands, the rest of the ledge slides off beneath her with a grating noise of rock against rock, and she is forced to jump back. Smokepaw screeches as he plummets down to his death, pieces of the ledge falling along with him, his eyes flashing with fear and despair, and he is soon obscured from the cats by the snow and mist._

_"Power of Three: The Sight - Episode 14" Brambleclaw bends down and sniffs the border that ShadowClan had illegally moved. "Birchfall was right: They moved the scent line and took some of our land," he growls._

_"Hey!" Brambleclaw looks up to the dark face of Smokefoot. "What're you doing sniffing the borders?" Oakfur and Owlpaw appear from behind him as he glances at around the ThunderClan patrol. His eyes narrow in disgust as his gaze rests on Jaypaw. "Hah, is ThunderClan so desperate that is needs to train its most worthless kit?" he taunts._

_Anger flares in the apprentice's well-acted "blind eyes" and he starts to bristle, but before he can say anything, Brambleclaw points out with a controlled temper, "You've moved the border."_

_Smokefoot smirks and puts a paw on the marker almost carelessly. "We've taken what's ours, and we will take more."_

_"ThunderClan is hardly a real Clan anymore- it's half kittypet," Oakfur puts in silkily. "I'm sure StarClan agrees that only true warriors are entitled to hunt on Clan territory."_

_Brambleclaw lashes his tail and growls threateningly._

The cats cheered as the projector paused at a black screen and the spotlights flicked back on, shining on a grinning Thunder and an amused Whitestorm standing at the right side of the stage.

Thunder held up his microphone with his tail. "Interesting, wasn't it?" he laughed. "We made so many mistakes. But you gotta cut us some slack, eh? It's five cats in charge of the scripts of five hundred cats and everything. Anyways, if you need a re-run of who the nominees are, they're Heavystep from RiverClan, Rowanclaw from ShadowClan, Mudfur from RiverClan, and Smokefoot from ShadowClan."

"And now for the nominees of Best In-Movie Joke!" Whitestorm announced. "First, we have Graystripe from ThunderClan."

_"Warriors: Fire and Ice - Episode 11" Fireheart rushes to his friend's side as Silverstream slams a wet Graystripe onto the muddy ground and growls, "You mouse-brain! What are you doing in my territory?"_

_Graystripe looks up, coughing, and smiles the kind of smile you'd give to a… special she-cat. "Drowning?"_

_The RiverClan warrior blinks and looks back to the river. "Can't you drown in your own territory?" she says, less hostile this time._

_"Ah, but who would rescue me there?"_

"Flametail from ShadowClan."

_"Power of Three: Long Shadows - Episode 7" "We could use fox dung to leave a trail for them to follow," Flamepaw suggests. He is discussing possible ways to lure Littlecloud and Blackstar to the place of their fake sign with his siblings and Lionblaze, Hollyleaf, and Jaypaw behind the warriors' den._

_Dawnpaw instantly rebukes the idea, shaking her head. "No, wouldn't it be odd if there was a trail of fox dung leading to somewhere? They'd think it a trap- an obvious one at that."_

_"Oh." Flametail stares at the ground in thought, then speaks up again when no cat says anything else. "Oh! We'll pelt Blackstar with acorns and say it was a sign from StarClan." He looks around, waiting for feedback._

_Dawnpaw's eyes flare with annoyance. "No!" she growls. "Stupid, Flamepaw, that's stupid!" She darts forward in the confined space. Her brother's eyes widen in surprise as she tackles him to the ground._

"Foxleap from ThunderClan."

_"Omen of the Stars: Night Whispers - Episode 25" The cats of ThunderClan are huddled under highledge and a foggy sky. The snow is pale in the gloomy lighting, and the clearing seems to be tinged with a slight trace of mourning. There is a close-up of Ivypaw who is looking slightly confused but curious and attentive at the same time, ears angled towards her leader._

_"I want to make this clear," Firestar meows sternly from highledge. "No cat is to go near or on the frozen lake. We can't risk loosing anyone, especially during leaf-bare. In the future, any cat caught on the ice will be severely punished."_

_"Yeah, by _death_," Foxleap mutters darkly, but Firestar casts him a stern glance. He instantly closes his mouth._

"And Jayfeather from ThunderClan."

_"Power of Three: Dark River - Episode 7" Birchfall's expression becomes triumphant as Jaypaw spits the thorn he'd gotten in his pad on the ground. "See?" he says haughtily. "That thorn is huge! It's a miracle that I managed to get back to camp."_

_Jaypaw paws the thorn to the side. "Yes, because thorns are that deadly," he meows sarcastically._

_Birchfall's mood immediately changes to annoyance. He frowns disapprovingly. "You know, you're not very sympathetic for a medicine cat."_

_Jaypaw seems to look him in the eye. "I'm here to _heal_ you," he reminds him sourly. "If you want sympathy, go to the nursery."_

The cats cheered again as the projector went blank and Thunder listed off the nominees again. "Flametail from ShadowClan and Graystripe, Foxleap, and Jayfeather from ThunderClan, right?" He twirled his microphone in his tail. "And now for my favorite award: Funniest Blooper!"

Whitestorm grinned. "Yes, first we have Scourge from BloodClan!"

_A clapboard is in front of the screen. "Tiger's death, angle B, take four. And…"- the clapboard claps and is taken away- "action!"_

_Tigerstar yells, "Traitor!" and jumps forward with a ferocious yowl, claws extended. Scourge seems ready at first- muscles tense and expression cold- but then his eyes widen. "Wait, wait, no, I'm not-!" Tigerstar crashes into the smaller cat and the camera follows unsteadily as they roll into the group of BloodClan cats._

_There is an awkward pause. Then Firestar runs forward, laughing hysterically. "Hahaha! Did you see that?" He cranes his head at the pile of cats. "Hey Scourge! You break a Bone? Bone!"_

_"Shut up!" comes Scourges muffled voice from the BloodClan of cats. This only makes Firestar laugh even more._

"Spiderleg from ThunderClan and Reedwhisker from RiverClan."

_"Clan life re-run, angle A, take one. And… action!" The clapboard claps and is taken away._

_Toadkit and Rosekit are shown at the side of camp playing with Spiderleg's tail as Daisy crouches beside them, urging the kits fondly, "That's right, you can practice fighting moves with your father." She looks up. "Spiderleg, can't you be a scarier badger than that?"_

_Spiderleg coughs and says weakly, apparently a victim of greencough, "Badgers… don't… let kits live when they play with their tail…"_

_Toadkit and Rosekit stop playing with his tail and freeze, looking up at the dark tom in horror. Spiderleg puts on a scary face and growls as he swipes a deliberately bad-aimed paw at the kits. They squeal and dart away as the tom jumps up and begins to chase them around the set._

_Shadow's shout is heard. "Spiderleg! What did I tell you about-?!"_

_"NOW!" the tom yowls as he chases the kits into the nursery._

_Daisy watches in surprise as Reedwhisker runs across the camera's line of vision, a bucket filled to the brim with neon green paint in his jaws. Her mouth drops open as a splattering sound is heard and an angry screech rips from Shadow's throat, and her head follows as Reedwhisker darts back from the left, a cursing green she-cat on his heels. Shadow's bad words get bleeped out, courtesy of the kits watching, and upon hearing them, Daisy finally breaks into a grin._

"Firestar and Leafpool from ThunderClan."

_"New home, angle A, take two. And… action!" The clapboard claps and is taken away._

_Firestar leads the four clans to the top of the valley, Leafpaw at his side, and stops to look down at the glittering lake, eyes shining triumphantly. The rest of the clans stop just behind him to stare at their new home in awe. Leafpaw opens her mouth to say something, but jumps in surprise as Firestar's front paw suddenly slips, and he bounces down the slope, yelping at every bump. She recoils as she hears a loud crack and mutters, "Ooh, rock…"_

_A beep is heard and the clapboard appears in front of the camera again. "New home, angle A, take three. And… action!" The clapboard claps and is taken away._

_Firestar leads the four clans to the top of the valley, Leafpaw at his side, and stops to look down at the glittering lake, eyes shining triumphantly. The rest of the clans stop just behind him to stare at their new home in awe. A bird squawks overhead and some white liquid drizzles on Firestar's head. He whips his head up. "You're kidding me, right?" he shouts at the bird._

_Leafpaw smirks and yowls in fake fear, "Whoa- Firestar, watch out!"_

_"Wh-what?! AH!" Firestar slips again from his frantic movement and bounces down the slope. The cats lean forward to watch Firestar's descent, and a loud crack is heard again, along with a vengeful shout: "I'm glad you're not my real daughter!"_

_Leafpaw raises a paw to her muzzle and giggles._

"And last of all, Tallstar from WindClan and Tigerstar from ShadowClan!"

_"Join TigerClan, angle A, take twelve. And… action!" The clapboard claps and is taken away to reveal the original forest filled with cats for the annual full-moon gathering._

_Tigerstar is facing the other leaders on the big rock. He says coolly, "We have come to invite you to be joint leaders of a greater clan, to be known as SatanClan."_

_A high-pitched beep is heard and the scene restarts with Tigerstar saying coolly, "We have come to invite you to be joint leaders of a greater clan, to be known as TigerClan."_

_Firestar seems in shock and Leopardstar looks as if in deep thought, so Tallstar speaks up first, facing the Clans, voice ringing out clearly: "TigerClan was the name of one of the fake Clans of ancient times-" Beep!_

_Tallstar begins again, "TigerClan was the name of one of the great Clans of ancient times. Tigerstar has no right to use it now, nor does he have the right to change the number of Clans in the forest." He turns back to Tigerstar. "We have lived as four Clans for innumerable seasons, following the warrior code laid down for us by StarClan. To throw aside our ancient ways would bring disaster. I'll die before I join my Clan to yours!"_

_"Then die." Beep!_

_"-To throw aside our ancient ways would bring disaster. I'll die before I join my Clan to yours!"_

_"Maulstar-" Beep!_

_"Tallstar, I understand," Tigerstar says calmly. "These are important matters, and a cannibalistic cat like yourself-" Beep!_

_"Tallstar, I understand. These are important matters, and an older cat like yourself will need time to see that what I'm suggesting is for the good of all our Clans._"

_Tallstar looks disgusted. "Well sheesh, that's offensive." Beep!_

_"These are important matters, and an older cat like yourself will need time to see that what I'm suggesting is for the good of all our Clans."_

_"We'll join, then." Beep!_

_"Look who's talking; you're gonna father and mentor about a hundred cats while I stay happily single without any." Beep!_

_"Very nice story, you should tell them to your Clan's kits." Beep!_

_"Nah, I'd rather live longer." Beep!_

_"Listen here, you-" Beep!_

_"I'm not so old that I've lost my wits, you piece of fox-dung!"_

_"Oh, come on, really?" Leopardstar groans immediately after._

_Tigerstar shakes his head. "No, no, that's the actual line he has to say." He smiles and adds, "And because of you, we'll have to retake that scene for the sixty-seventh time tonight."_

_"…Oh." Beep!_

The cats laughed and cheered at the same time and all that junk. :D

What.

Lionblaze was a bit disappointed that he wasn't one of the nominees, but then again, he wasn't the type to kid around that much, nor was his character. He was a bad joker anyway.

"And that about wraps up the nominees," Thunder said to a camera. "We'll be back after this commercial break with the results, but in the meantime, you can vote on our website to help judge the winners. Just type in 'w-w-w-dot-StarClanAwards-dot-com-slash-polls'. The nominees are also posted on our website in case you've forgotten who they are. Again, we'll be back with the results, so stay tuned for the StarClan Awards!" He paused.

"Cut!" some cat shouted.

Thunder straightened up and grinned. "Okay everyone, you can all turn your phones back on for the time being. All the cameras are officially off during commercial breaks. But when we're live again, they all go black." He nodded to Whitestorm, and the white tom passed a cat his microphone and made his way back to his spot in the crowd.

Thunder continued. "Oh, and hey, I know this isn't really gonna be efficient if I say this like I'm talking to a bunch of kits, but don't steal spots. Ain't cool. See you guys in a few segments. Try to survive River without throwing up; he can really get offended." Thunder flipped the microphone in his tail, gave it back to the camera crew at the side of the stage, and proceeded to trot back to the forest to the right.

The cats soon began to chatter and mingle again. Jayfeather slipped away to who-knew-where, and Hollyleaf, Berrynose, and Hazeltail were dragged off somewhere by some of their other friends- friends that Lionblaze had no knowledge of. Alone again. There was one other possibility, but… Heathertail would probably neglect him, wouldn't she? No, what reason did she have to? Or maybe she'd be too busy talking with Kestrelflight. Or she was somewhere else, chatting with some other cat. Or she was already-

Lionblaze started as he felt another buzz in his pelt. He checked the message, which so happened to be from Rosepetal. It was so surprising. He totally didn't expect that. _OK OK OK I NO U ALRDY SAW BUT LUK AGIN CUZ U NEED 2 ASK Y HE BEIN SUC A CREPER!11! tel me wut he say I wanna no_

Lionblaze sighed and texted, _I really appreciate your help, Rosepetal, but I think I can manage from here. You don't have to bother with me, it's fine, really._ Really, he just wanted the she-cat to take her nose out of his business, but of course, saying that would be rude.

But the social she-cat obviously wasn't going to back off so easily. Twenty seconds later, a message on his screen read, _Lemme tel u a thing or 2 bout me hon One, NO1 knos toms like ME Two, no offense but u weak u need som back bone Three, PLZ PLZ PLZ I WANNA NO IT WAS RLY FRIKIN ME OUT AND I RLY WANNA NO PLZ._

Lionblaze couldn't help but smile at her kit-like resort. It was always easy to counter at reactions like that. He texted, _1) I'm sure you know toms well enough, but you might want to consider that I am a tom myself… 2) If I need back-bone, I'll come to you, I'm sure. 3) I might tell you what happens, I suppose. But no promises._

_SIGH U no wut i dont need ur permison i belive in shecat fredoms an i dont care if i hav 2 stalk u or wutever if u wanna fight den we can go on all nite cuz i aint backin down so there :(_

Lionblaze stared at his screen for a second. He lifted a paw, about to give her a piece of his mind, only to blink when another one of her texts popped up on his screen: _OMSC JUST GO BFOR ITS 2 L8!_

He sighed and turned his head in Mousewhisker's direction. Indeed, the tom, who was standing a few fox lengths away in the crowd, was staring at him again. Mousewhisker broke his gaze only once to glance at the border of trees. His gaze darkened as he looked back to Lionblaze. He seemed to be trying to tell him something by the way his eyes seemed to urge him.

_But before that- _Lionblaze whipped his head around and spotted Rosepetal, eyes flickering back and forth from him to Mousewhisker. When she looked back at him, she cringed and gave a guilty smile. Lionblaze held up his tail rigidly and slid it to the side in a gesture telling her to _look away_. The she-cat pouted but obeyed, though she was soon over her mood, chattering happily with Willowshine.

Lionblaze turned back to a slightly annoyed Mousewhisker, who's gaze kept darting to the border of trees. Lionblaze stared at him for a while, trying to figure out what he meant - and why the tom couldn't just walk up and tell him what was on his mind. But before he could dwell much on the latter, as if by magic, he remembered. _Commercial break. Same spot. Your call whether you'll come here or not. _He'd forgotten all about Mousewhisker's requested meeting in the midst of all the excitement.

He began to feel uneasy inside. He had to admit; in all the time he'd known Mousewhisker, the tom had always been- what could describe it? - oh, _creepy_. Lionblaze didn't doubt his sanity or anything, but the tom always did everything a little too… creepily? There was nothing else he could think of that would describe it very accurately, honestly.

Mousewhisker's gaze became sharper - he was obviously getting impatient - but Lionblaze couldn't bring himself to go to that spot… In other words, he was scared. It was cowardly, he knew, but he wanted to _avoid_ danger by all means, especially that night. The Awards was definitely not a place to mess up.

So instead, he stood and walked away, quickly deciding to take his chances with Heathertail. He felt both Mousewhisker's angry glare and Rosepetal's shocked gaze - apparently she had decided to watch again - prickle his pelt as he made his way through the crowd of cats until the density of furry bodies blocked their sight of him. He breathed out a sigh of relief as the tension evaporated from his shoulders. Maybe he'd be able to avoid the grey and white tom until the end of the Awards… Eight commercial breaks plus the trip back to their set-slash-home. Mousewhisker had enough patience to wait until they were away from the cameras, didn't he? A part of him didn't think so, but there was such thing as hope blinding sensible thoughts.

Lionblaze stopped to try to pinpoint Heathertail. There were so many cats with brown pelts and/or blue eyes, but every time he saw either feature, they weren't quite Heathertail's. She'd probably moved to try to find some of her other friends, or maybe she'd needed to go to the dirtplace. No, actually, cats usually made sure to do that earlier- she was just somewhere else that he hadn't been yet. He was looking in the wrong place. Perhaps she had ended up at the other side of the clearing? Maybe he should-

Something wet suddenly exploded on his head, leaving a stinging feeling and some sort of liquid drizzling down his face and muzzle. Lionblaze blinked the stuff out of his eyes, and he stared down at the substance dripping down from his head into the tall grass in shock. Many of the cats around him stopped whatever they had been doing to stare at him - either amusement or surprise on their faces. Lionblaze blinked and cringed, feeling embarrassed, but then a cool nighttime breeze blew in. Longtail's scent was most distinguishable on it.

His mood immediately changed to blazing anger, but he did his best to conceal it. He whipped around and found himself staring into Longtail's smirking face. "Longtail," Lionblaze greeted in a level voice. "What did you just throw on my head, may I ask?"

Longtail shrugged. "Sorry. That was meant for that stuttering tom over there." He gestured to the side where Lionblaze saw Kestrelflight crouching fearfully beside Heathertail. He met Lionblaze's gaze, and his expression became apologetic, as if it was all his fault. Heathertail just stood watching the scene, blue eyes slightly tinged with pity.

Longtail's voice tore his gaze away from the pair. "You okay?"

Aware that nearby cats were still watching, Lionblaze attempted to maintain a calm voice and to keep his fur from bristling. "I'm fine, thank you." He flicked some of the liquid off his ear, trying to assume a casual air. "But I don't think this is the time or place to be throwing around… whatever you're throwing."

A corner of the tabby's mouth twitched upwards. "It's just water, you know. Thought you'd be able to tell… As for that tom over there" - he gave Kestrelflight the briefest of glances - "I just thought I'd get even for a joke he'd played on me earlier. None of your business, really."

Lionblaze nodded slowly and stepped back. He was lying. It was obvious. He was _trying_ to make it obvious, in fact. But he'd get nothing out of him in front of all of these cats. "I'd watch where you're throwing next time," he warned. "Might hurt someone." The cats around them began to resume to their chatter. He hoped the other tom got the message.

The corner of Longtail's mouth twitched higher. "I'll try. Dreadfully sorry about that." He brushed past him and flicked his tail in Lionblaze's face on his way. Lionblaze didn't dare glance in the tom's direction, lest he betrayed any anger in his gaze.

He started when he heard a soft voice. "That was rude, wasn't it?" Lionblaze whipped around to a pair of sky blue eyes and an elegant tabby brown face. His heart soared. Heathertail! Yes! He could finally try to make their relationship more than "acquaintances."

He opened his mouth and began to speak. But he had not uttered a single word when he stopped uncertainly. What would he say? "Yeah"? His brother would only say two words; "Psshh, _lame_." He needed a conversation starter. But his mind was drawing a blank. All he could do was stare at her, his skin heating up under his fur.

Heathertail's expression slowly turned from sympathy to confusion. "Are you okay?" she asked. Lionblaze opened his mouth and closed it again. Heathertail only became more confused. "You seem like you're… paralyzed or something." She waved her tail in front of his face.

He blinked. His mind was slow to process what she'd said, but when he did, his fur grow prickly with embarrassment. "S-sorry, sorry… I- uh… thought… you were talking about me- being rude- you know." His eyes widened. That was the wrong thing to say. "No! I meant-"

"It's fine, I understand." Heathertail smiled. Lionblaze struggled to focus his vision. "Must be pretty embarrassing having a balloon full of water dumped on you in the middle of a crowd like this." Kestrelflight crept to her side and nodded timidly in agreement.

Lionblaze felt a momentary relief that she hadn't been offended, but he swallowed as his mind groped for something to say. He was a hypocrite, thinking Kestrelflight too shy when he was the same himself. But still, he was only like this around Heathertail… Out of all cats, why did it have to be _her_ that he couldn't talk normally to? Besides, he was a tom! If he wanted any she-cat to like him, he needed to act like one, not some stuttering kit afraid of its own shadow.

Heathertail blinked, beginning to look uncertain. "Look," she said slowly, "if Longtail really hurt your feelings, maybe you should go talk to him or something…?" She shrugged. "I don't know, I honestly have no idea what that was about. I don't think Kestrel-"

"It's fine!" he burst out a bit too loudly. He flattened his ears in embarrassment. "I mean, it's fine- I'm fine. I… Sorry." He began to slowly back away. He couldn't do this. He'd make a complete fool of himself, and there would go his hopes of a chance with Heathertail. "Thanks for your concern," he mumbled, eyes pinned to the ground. Then he spun around and darted away through the crowd, completely miserable and fully aware of Heathertail's confused stare on his back.

* * *

**HEY YOU! YEAH YOU! YOU'D BETTER READ THIS. Before anybody goes into a firey rage, I just want to say that yes, I made up basically 77% of the scenes from Warriors. The other 23% is information I got from the wiki. I just know there's bound to be some people that'll think, ****_How dare this chic revise the scenes from the sacred Warriors?! Shun! This person is not worthy of reading the holy book series! _****AndI think you can pretty much predict ****_why_**** the scenes are all different.**

**YES, YOU CAN VOTE. Review, PM, whatever. Just gotta have your vote in by (((-! 6/21 !-))) or I won't count it. I'll decide the tie-breakers.**

**AND REMEMBER THE NOMINEES:**

**WEIRDEST PHENOMENON - Heavystep from RiverClan, Rowanclaw from ShadowClan, Mudfur from RiverClan, and Smokefoot from ShadowClan**

**BEST IN-MOVIE JOKE (I know they're not much of jokes but I couldn't find much else on the wiki. There are probably funnier quotes that aren't on the web.) - Flametail from ShadowClan and Graystripe from ThunderClan, Foxleap from ThunderClan, and Jayfeather from ThunderClan**

**FUNNIEST BLOOPER - Scourge from BloodClan, Spiderleg from ThunderClan and Reedwhisker from RiverClan, Firestar and Leafpool from ThunderClan, and Tallstar from WindClan and Tigerstar from ShadowClan**

**IF IT SEEMS LIKE I COPIED ANYTHING OF ANYONE, IT IS A MERE COINCEDENCE. THANK YOU FOR READING.**


	3. Segment 2 - ANGER ISSUES

With every quick step away, Lionblaze began to regret taking them. He breezed through the tall grass and weaved his way around talking cats. The feeling tugged at his paws to turn around, run back to Heathertail, and somehow make things… okay in some sort of way. But he knew he couldn't turn back now. _I should've stayed_, his mind kept repeating. _I have the courage, don't I? I could've been good with her! _But just because his mind said that didn't mean he actually believed it.

Lionblaze was about to slump down and sulk on the spot he'd claimed with his "friends" when he felt a buzz in his pelt. His eyes narrowed in annoyance. Why did that she-cat always have to text him? He slowly took out his phone. _Wowww lion u rly mesed it up huh an heathers like the prettiest cat i no. _Lionblaze tail twitched in anger as another message appeared on his screen._ Srsly u got a shecat 2 fell simpathetic for u an thats teh purfect time 2 make ur move or wutever but u didnt cuz u sudenly decided 2 go all scardycat. i told u u wuld need a backbone! XD_

His heart rate suddenly accelerated and he heated up. Now, that was pushing it. He didn't need to be reminded of his failure; it only made it ten times worse knowing that some cat had seen it. And he certainly didn't need some gossipy she-cat shoving into his business. His paws shook slightly as he texted back a bitter message. _Okay, honesty starts now: Don't text me again, Rosepetal, because I won't text or _talk_ back. If you actually think it is that easy to get into another cat's business, you need to know it's not, and it could get you a world of hate if it isn't already. I'm not going to feed you information for you and your little friends' giggly world of gossip and junk, so it's best if you'd get your head out of the land I call My Privacy. Don't come back again._

He aggressively hit "send" before he could even think of what he'd just written. He stowed his phone away and began to sit down. Then he froze. Oh no. That was mean, wasn't it? It was… And on the night of absolutely no mistakes… He didn't even say please! He whipped around and desperately searched the crowd of cats for Rosepetal's cream fur, but she didn't seem to be anywhere. Too many moving cats.

He felt a buzz in his pelt. He started but immediately fumbled for his phone with a paw. Rosepetal didn't take many things to heart; that was common knowledge. Maybe she wouldn't be that mad, right? At least, he hoped, not mad enough to start any nasty rumors. The phone lit up. His heart jumped in surprise. Lionblaze didn't know whether to be relieved or panicked as Hollyleaf's text filled the screen, but he sighed softly and decided to worry about what happened when it came. There was no point in stressing his head off in the meantime when there was nothing he could do about it. And besides… no mistakes.

His sister's text read, _Lionblaze, get over here right now! Crowfeather's in a heck of a fight and we're gonna need some support!_

Lionblaze's eyes widened and his mood instantly changed. Paws rapidly tapped at the screen. _Where are you?_

_Far left looking out from the stage._

He took off as soon as he read the message, his phone between his jaws. The grass stung, whipping at his legs, and he kept bumping into other cats, but he didn't stop to say sorry as they shot him annoyed glances. There were many cats that faked their liking for their false parents for publicity, but Lionblaze and his littermates, Crowfeather, Leafpool- their relationship was very real. The two weren't mates or anything, but they were close friends, and they actually cared about them. That was the amazing thing. For the most part, it was every cat for their selves, but these cats really cared.

"Lionblaze!" Hollyleaf's scent drifted to him, slightly jumbled with other's scents. He spotted a pair of green eyes and black fur pop above a dense crowd in the moonlight a bit to his left. "Over here!" she called to him.

Lionblaze rushed forward and pushed through the tightly packed mass of cats until he was standing with Hollyleaf at the front of the ring around two heatedly arguing cats, apparently oblivious to their surroundings: Crowfeather and Hawkfrost… Hawkfrost? Their fur bristled, eyes wild with pure anger as they snarled things back and forth to each other. Hollyleaf seemed desperate to break them up, but it was obvious that there could be absolutely no interferences.

Jayfeather shoved into Hollyleaf's other side, earning himself a glare of annoyance, of which he ignored. His eyes flickered between the two toms before he whispered to his sister, "What the heck are they going on about, huh? Doesn't make a flick of sense."

Hollyleaf shook her head slowly, her eyes glued on the two arguing cats. "I don't know. Just listen."

"You still haven't gotten over it, have you?" Hawkfrost was growling. "You're too much of a coward to accept that he foolhardily brought it upon himself, so you look for the most likely cat to blame!"

"I'm not blaming you," Crowfeather cut in harshly. "It wouldn't be right to call it 'blame' when I _know_ you did it!" He leaned forward, a wild look in his eyes. "There were obvious signs of struggle, Hawkfrost. You thought that he would get the role instead of you, and you _murdered_ him in cold blood, just to ensure your spot!"

Lionblaze stiffened in shock. Their quarrel was bad enough to involve murder? Why had Crowfeather never told them of anything like this?

Hawkfrost quickly interrupted his thoughts. "No _murder_ had taken place that day, Crowfeather. Thrushpaw was just being the little mouse-brained apprentice he was, sending himself on reckless missions to show off how supposedly great his skills were. I would never kill a cat for the sakes of something so petty!"

"Liar," Crowfeather snarled, and he unsheathed his claws as if he were expecting to fight. "I can't fathom how you can bear to live on lying like this. I know my brother would have _never_ risked his life like that, especially after something so important!" His voice shook a bit. "My own _brother,_ Hawkfrost. You killed my _brother. _Your heart is empty, StarClan curse you!"

Hawkfrost hesitated, then added a bit more softly but still with a hostile growl in his voice, "We were friends, Crowfeather. I wouldn't hurt your brother just because he had something I didn't. From the day that he died, I grieved over loosing a friend over a crime I hadn't committed." Then contempt filled his voice again. "But I realized a long time ago that a true companion wouldn't leave the other based off of a belief never proven to be true."

At this Crowfeather didn't say anything. He just continued to glare at the other tom with flashing blue eyes. He stared at his back as Hawkfrost stalked away. Then he seemed to realize the ring of cats around him. "It's none of your business," he hissed, swerving around threateningly. Cats quickly looked away to avoid any direct eye-contact.

Crowfeather turned around and stopped mid-step as his surprised eyes fell upon the approaching Lionblaze, Hollyleaf, and Jayfeather. Crowfeather was a middle-aged cat, slowly getting weaker every season, but he still managed to look handsome in a… skinny and frail sort of way. He put his paw down and sighed. "I'm sorry I never told you," he murmured apologetically. "Hawkfrost and I have been having this grudge against each other for… quite a while. I expect that you three want an explanation."

Hollyleaf shook her head. "You don't have to tell us anything if you don't want to," she said softly. "We just came here to see if you would need any sort of help after- that."

For a long heartbeat, Crowfeather didn't say anything, just staring down at them with a strangely vacant expression, but then he meowed carefully, "No, thanks for the offer, but I think I'd like to go through this myself. _Without_ putting any weight on your shoulders." He attempted at a smile, but it looked more sad and regretful than happy. "So how's your nights so far?" he asked, obviously trying to brighten up the mood.

Jayfeather immediately grinned, taking the bait that he'd actually cheered up. "A ton more pretty she-cats in one place than anywhere else I've ever been in my life. I'm having a heck of a good time!" Crowfeather laughed at this.

"Hazeltail was flirting with Thornclaw," Hollyleaf snickered. "It was fake, but you should've seen the look on his face! Imagine two medicine cats _together!_"

"They'd get literally dragged away and would face a fine of about a gazillion rabbit-ears," Jayfeather said. He smirked. "But I totally support medicine cats, as long as it's a hot she-cat."

"Hey, if you start going around having affairs with _any_ medicine cat, I'll personally rearrange that handsome face of yours until it looks like you'd stuck your head into the motor of a twoleg car," Crowfeather growled warningly. "What about you, huh? How's it going?" He turned to Lionblaze.

He blinked a few times, trying to come up with an answer. How had his night been, huh? Disappointing, of course. But he wasn't going to say that. "Oh, uh, not that eventful, really. I feel a bit nervous, though. I fear that I might not… get anything, if you know what I mean."

Crowfeather's expression softened. "Oh, don't think like that, Lionblaze, you need to be more positive. You play a main role yet you doubt that you will be awarded for _anything?_"

"Well, I suppose your right, but…" He shrugged. "I don't know, I just don't feel like many cats really see me as above and great."

"Well, you're an idiot," Jayfeather cut in. A black paw cuffed him over the head. "Ow! Sheesh, I said something reassuring, didn't I?" He rubbed his head with a paw.

"You don't know how to say anything, Jayfeather," Hollyleaf said scoldingly.

A magnified voice coming from the speakers silenced any further conversation. "Hey, uh, all you cats there? Oh, I-I'm in front." Every head turned to the stage where a black and white tom stood awkwardly. "Um, one minute warning until the commercial breaks are over, so turn your phones off and… yeah." He hurried off the stage to crouch back behind a camera.

"Oh," Crowfeather said disappointedly, "you three should get back to your spots, then. I'll see you guys later." He hurried off to his chosen spot while Lionblaze, Hollyleaf, and Jayfeather rushed off to theirs.

Lionblaze blinked in surprise as Hollyleaf sat down heavily, her demeanor drastically changing. It became obvious that she'd been hiding it throughout thier conversation. "StarClan… You guys heard what Crowfeather and Hawkfrost were fighting about, right?" she whispered, green eyes glazing in the moonlight. "It seems like either Hawkfrost killed Crowfeather's brother for his role in Warriors or Crowfeather's just overreacting about everything. What do you guys think?"

Jayfeather flicked an ear dismissively and shrugged. "Eh, I dunno, but I don't think we should worry 'bout it. Not really any of our beeswax, you know."

Hollyleaf and Lionblaze stared at him, horrified at their brother's reaction.

"What?" Jayfeather demanded.

The lights dimmed again and a spotlight flickered on, tracking a handsome tom with long, sleek silver-gray fur and clear moss-green eyes as he padded onto stage. Voices were instantly hushed and every cat turned their attention to the tom on stage. Lionblaze heard Hollyleaf give a bit of an adoring sigh. He and Berrynose glanced at her incredulously then leaned away like she had some sort of disease.

The tom brought a microphone to his muzzle. "Ah- good evening everyone," he said with a charming smile. "I'm River-" This was cut through by loud cheering, mostly coming from she-cats, Lionblaze observed. "Haha, thank you for that," River laughed. "I didn't expect to have such an enthusiastic crowd.

"Anyways, welcome back to the StarClan Awards! We have our results for Weirdest Phenomenon, Best In-Movie Joke, and Funniest Bloopers in… so here are the winners." He paused to build up tension, obviously enjoying the affect as cats leaned forward anxiously. "The award for Weirdest Phenomenon goes to… Smokefoot!"

Cats cheered politely, the most enthusiasm coming from the ShadowClan cast. Smokefoot padded down the path of flattened grass and leaped onto the stage. River gave him a small, smooth, and white rock with an expertly carved StarClan sign engraved on its surface before Smokefoot stepped up to give his speech. "Wow," he chuckled into the microphone. "I didn't really think I'd win anything tonight since I play such a minor character, but-"

Lionblaze jolted in surprise and lost focus as his phone vibrated in his pelt. Great, he'd forgotten to turn it off! He glanced around. Nobody seemed to have noticed the slight buzz, and Smokefoot's eyes were fixed on a point farther back in the crowd. He slowly reached back behind him and grabbed his phone with his claws.

"Dude, I thought we were supposed to turn those off," Jayfeather whispered, his face nearly a whisker away from his.

Lionblaze stopped himself from yelling out in surprise. "Well, I forgot," he hissed softly, leaning away. He glanced at the notification on the screen. "Someone else seems to have forgotten as well, though. I got a text from…" His eyes widened. "Uh…"

"It's that she-cat again, isn't it?" Jayfeather smirked, as if imagining what was going on between them. "Rosepetal, right?"

"No," he lied. Cats cheered, but Lionblaze ignored it. "Would you please mind your own business?"

Jayfeather smiled deviously, and before Lionblaze could even think to react, he swiped his phone away. Lionblaze's paw darted forward, but Jayfeather batted it away without even looking up from the device.

Then the gray tabby surprised him by frowning. "What the- I don't get what's so bad about this, Lion. Nothin' personal about 'Ok.'" He looked up to meet his brother's eyes.

"Are you serious?" Jayfeather let Lionblaze swipe his phone back. He stared at the one word on his screen. _Ok_. …No. That was too simple. Cats like her would have a bigger reaction to what he said than that. She was taking it harder than she chose to show him, he knew it. Lionblaze swallowed. Soon there would be rumors everywhere about what a jerk he was.

For a while, all he could do was stare into space, until a black tail was waved in front of his face. "Hellooo? Lionblaze, were you even listening?" Hollyleaf whispered.

He blinked a few times and looked up at the stage. Spiderleg and Reedwhisker were giving an unusual speech about… lactose intolerance? He had no idea what that was. Then he slumped down. "Sorry… What happened, exactly?"

"Flametail won best joke and Spiderleg and Reedwhisker won best blooper. So now they're rambling on about the funniest things." She glanced at the stage. "Obviously," she added.

Spiderleg and Reedwhisker finished their weird speech, stepping off the stage with more enthusiastic cheering than others had recieved. Then River stepped forward again.

"That was truly… interesting, yes?" he commented dryly. "…Anyways, tonight, I'll be hosting the second segment, as you can obviously see. I requested specifically for this part to be hosted by me, and I think it will become clear why I did." He couldn't hold back a grin before he finished. "Best-Looking Actors and Actresses."

There was soft laughter. Lionblaze heard Hollyleaf stifle a giggle, and he sighed, wondering how his sister could be one of those many she-cats struck by this tom. He caught Berrynose's eye, and the cream tom made a scene of gagging in disgust. Lionblaze laughed along quietly until Hollyleaf glared both of them into silence.

River continued, "I'll just be announcing the nominees; no big screening this time, sorry.

"Best-Looking Actress nominees go to…" Lionblaze waited patiently as River had fun with his tension-building. "Spottedleaf, Dovewing, and Yellowfang of ThunderClan and Silverstream of RiverClan."

_Oh, wonderful,_ Lionblaze thought sadly as the crowd cheered on,_ this is definitely going to put a boost to Dovewing's full-to-the-brim ego…_ He blinked. _Didn't expect them to choose a she-cat as old as Yellowfang, though._

"Best-Looking Actor nominees go to… Lionheart, Graystripe, Firestar, and Jayfeather of ThunderClan. Congratulations, nominees, for naturally looking attractive."

"Yes!" Jayfeather hissed. He nudged Lionblaze's side. Lionblaze just flashed his brother a quick smile, which seemed to be good enough for him. For the second time this night, it was Jayfeather again. Always Jayfeather. Did no cat understand what an idiot his brother actually was?

As the cheering died down, River went on with a bit of excitement glinting in his green eyes, "Now, this segment has been quite short, hasn't it? Nominees, please join me on stage." The bewildered cats stepped on stage, and he had them stand in a straight line before continuing, "To begin with, there are a few things that you cats most likely don't know about me. One; that I like attractive cats regardless of any gender- not in that sort of way, don't worry-" He waited until the laughter died down. "Two; love. There's a reason that I plot out all the relationships. And three;"- his muzzle twisted into a devilish grin- "torture."

…_Well then, this might turn out fun. _Lionblaze leaned forward as River went on, "So I took this chance to combine the two of these things together, creating something that will… definitely amuse all watchers… Romance." Surprisingly, no cat spoke at this. They must have all been as anticipated as all the cats watching this from a screen, Lionblaze reasoned.

River smiled. "I'd advise young watchers to tune off or look away if they are innocently disgusted by love or an act of it," he said to a camera. "There's nothing explicit here, though, so I wouldn't see much problem in them watching."

"Now, I would like a volunteer." His eyes carefully traveled around the crowd and stopped abruptly. "How about you? That fluffy she-cat back there. Ginger fur." Every head turned towards the cat River was staring at, Lionblaze craning his head to see. He could only manage to glimpse her amber eyes and ruffled ears, but the feeling of recognition struck hard. He knew this cat very well, but her name just wouldn't come to him for whatever reason.

"Uh… sorry, I'm a tom, not a she-cat," she said loudly. A brown tom she was sitting next to glared at her as a ripple of laughter spread through the crowd.

"Oh, I'm sorry," River said, completely lacking an apologetic tone. "That fluffy ginger _tom._ Would you care to join me on stage?" The she-cat jumped up enthusiastically and strode down the path of flattened grass and onto the stage. "What's your name, dear?"

The she-cat made a face at that last word. He knew she'd do that! Come on, what was her name…? "Cherrypaw," she answered simply. Yes! She was known throughout the ThunderClan cast for her tom-like personality.

"Cherrypaw! Who are the two cats standing up here you like the most, may I ask? Not including yourself."

Cherrypaw frowned. "Well- I guess Firestar and Graystripe," she said into the microphone River held to her muzzle. "They're pretty cool, they're nicer than other cats I know, and I've known them the longest."

River smiled in an almost sinister way. "Oh, what a coincidence. This is a popular one." He turned to the two cats. "I think you're both smart enough to have figured this out by now. Better cozy on up."

A few of the cats onstage gasped and had to cover each other's mouths with their tails.

Graystripe seemed completely horrified. He said something inaudible, lacking a microphone at that moment. The black and white tom from behind the camera rushed up to him and gave both Firestar and him his own mic. He repeated what he'd said. "This, River…" he rasped. "This was never on the contract."

"Oh, but it was!" River said gleefully. "Well, not directly anyways. One lick is all I need. Besides, it would earn you quite a bit of publicity," he joked.

"Uh, well… What do you think, Fire-" Firestar licked him on the cheek. Graystripe stumbled in surprise and nearly dropped the mic. "Wha- What the, Firestar, I wasn't ready!" he complained.

"Yeah, and you would've never been unless you didn't know." But Lionblaze could detect a glimmer of embarrassment in his eyes.

All the while, Cherrypaw stared at them, wide-eyed. She stepped forward hesitantly. "Sorry, guys… I didn't know you'd have to do that," Lionblaze heard her say.

Firestar shook his head slowly. "It's fine…"

River glanced at her. "You may take a seat now." Cherrypaw practically flew back to her spot. "Your turn, Graystripe," he said with mock sweetness.

Graystripe's expression turned somewhat angry, but then he seemed to decide a different approach, considering that they were being recorded. He smiled calmly. "Gay. What a word. You're sick, you know that, right?" he said as if giving a compliment.

"I'm just producing entertainment," River replied simply.

"…Entertainment?" he mused. He thought for a moment, then turned his back on the crowd and faced Firestar.

His expression must have been somewhat scary, because Firestar actually dropped his microphone, it hitting the stone with a panging thump. His eyes were widened in fear. "Uh, Graystripe?" Lionblaze managed to hear. "You having another one of your episodes?" Only the ThunderClan cast knew this something about Graystripe. He was easily angered and easily blinded by it as well. Lionblaze knew what was coming next. And he didn't want to look.

"Here, can you hold this?" Graystripe tossed the microphone towards Jayfeather. The tabby just stared, frozen, as it dropped to the stone in front of his paws. Graystripe looked back to Firestar. "Sorry," he said, voice almost inaudible from where Lionblaze sat. Then he leaped forward.

Many things happened at once. Every cat started talking and shouting at the same time, so suddenly that Lionblaze instinctively flattened his ears, Berrynose threw up on Hollyleaf, splattering her fur with a sickly pale green shade of slime, Lionblaze quickly raised a paw to shield his vision but accidentally whacked Hollyleaf in one of her eyes, weird as it was to notice, Mousewhisker glanced at the stage with a bored expression, and River fervently signaled to the cameras to cut to the commercials while the cats on stage literally dog-piled the two toms, trying to pull Graystripe off. Moments later, a dazed Firestar stumbled off the stage and onto Hollyleaf, knocking the breath out of her, and of course, Graystripe followed, tumbling off the stage to and knocking the breath out of Lionblaze's sister again.

Graystripe just lay there on top of them, unaffected by the other cats' squirming. "What in the name of StarClan did I just do…?" he whispered.

River appeared beside the three cats. His green eyes were slightly glazed with fear at what he'd done. "Oh dear," he murmured. "I'm truly sorry, Graystripe, I didn't think that that would be the outcome of angering you."

Graystripe opened his mouth to say something, but he fell off the pile of cats. He stood up again. "Fox-heart," he spat. He stomped away.

River blinked at the insult, then seemed to brush it off as he turned to the two remaining cats. "You'd better go clean yourselves up from… whatever you're covered in," he advised, voice tainted with disgust. "Er, the pond's back there." He jerked his head towards the body of water.

Hollyleaf couldn't seem to take her eyes off of him. She chuckled nervously. "Heh, heh… yeah…" She slid out from underneath Firestar, who's eyes were still glazed and unfocused, and, ignoring other cat's stares, dragged him along with her towards the pond.

Jayfeather sat down heavily. "That was sick, dude… just sick."

"Yeah, I know." He looked at his brother. "You should've seen your face."

Jayfeather rolled his eyes. Then something buzzed, and he took out his phone, his blue eyes quickly scanning over something. He jumped up. "Oh, gotta go, bye!" Lionblaze opened his mouth to ask exactly where he was going, but his brother was already dashing off.

"Love you too, brother," Lionblaze muttered sarcastically.

His phone buzzed in his pelt. His eyes widened slightly when he saw who'd texted him. Rosepetal again? Probably to gloat about all the things she'd said about him. Lionblaze nervously unlocked his phone and checked the text, but what he saw surprised him. _OMSC DID DEY DO WUT I TINK DEY JUST DID?! OMCS OMSC OMSC DATS LIKE SOO GAYYY~ :O_

_Rosepetal? I thought you'd be done with having anything to do with me after I sent you that other message._

The other she-cat immediately went on defensive mode. _HEY i'm not stupid u know deres akshully a brian inside ma head no mater how bad mh akedemic grads r ok nd i cn mind ma own beewax if dats wut u want i just didnt no u were so sensitive :3._ Lionblaze sighed softly and let that slide.

_Well, I'm relieved that you aren't mad at me, and I apologize for being so snappy,_ he texted back, then added hesitantly,_ You didn't happen to say anything about me in the meanwhile, did you?_

_wtfd no why btw no need 2 go all sappy on me cuz it just make both of us fell wierd nd ackward nd its kinda wasted on me so ya_

_Oh. Of course._

Rosepetal took on a chatty air again. _so ANYWAYS OMSC I DIDNT TINK DAT GRAY WUD GET DAT ANGRY DID U? i mean like srsly he has 2 hav anger ishues or somthin_

Lionblaze began to feel a familiar prickling sensation on his neck-fur and down his back, but he just ignored it. Mousewhisker could be as creepy as he wanted, but he'd never get him to go back to that spot by glaring at him. Lionblaze swore that on StarClan.

* * *

**Abrupt ending. Mah god, this chapter was so hard to write. D8**

**RANDOM GLOSSARY: wtfd = what the fox-dung**

**SO YEH. For the "good-looking" cats, I chose the ones that were actually mentioned in the book to be pretty/handsome/beautiful/sweetly-scented as a blessing from StarClan. Jayfeather was there to make Lion JELUSH. Also because he's MAH BEAUTIFUL JAY-JAY. HE WILL BE FOREVER MINE.**

**Remember not to judge people by obsessions, kids!**

**DEADLINE FOR VOTES IS ((!-7/13/13-!))**

**THE HOT-STUFF NOMINEES:**

**SHE-CAT: Spottedleaf, Dovewing, and Yellowfang of ThunderClan and Silverstream of RiverClan**

**TOMS: Lionheart, Graystripe, Firestar, and Jayfeather of ThunderClan**

**REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY :D**


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